A Brief Digression to Ding-A-Ling Jokes -

A Brief Digression to Ding-A-Ling Jokes

Spank Mike Ock! Spank Mike Ock!! What in Dog’s name do you have against Mike Ock? My Former Landscaper! Mike Ock went rogue on me when he was appointed head of the Public Works Dept. Wait-what? Your “thingie” went rogue on you? WHAT???! Mike Ock refused to decertify the votes for the Sustainable Lawn Act!! I asked him, “Does Mike Ock want to go down in history as a pussy?!” I think I’m having a stroke!! Mike Ock betrayed me! Mike Ock is a weak little coward!! Mike Ock is not your friend!! Where’s Mike Ock? Find Mike Ock and grab him!! I can’t locate Mike Ock!!

Published On: August 23, 2021

Your scientific theories are beyond me, but I do know that the Wisdoma vaccine improved my mental focus. If that was your only reaction it indicates that you were already well adjusted to live in a civilised society. Do you mean some folks have more extreme reactions? Data so far suggests that the recipient ‘s propensity for ignorance and antisocial traits directly correlates to the intensity of their reaction. Ummm.. So you mean the change is most obvious in the most naturally unreasonable people! Yes! ! If that’s the case, then I have a theory (whispers to O & M) 6 Marcia: I believe that may be effectuated! I’d have to have a hole in my head to want to do that! And I do!!

These are dark times! Extreme radical leftists will never stop trying to destroy me and my neighborhood! Your Neighborhood? I’ve been streaming video of your malicious antics since your first rally, Pally! I sent the link to the city attorney and he’s very interested! how dare the evil left try to hold me accountable? One witchhunt after another since I started the OGLE movement! After I stood up for more toilet water it was the Flusha Flusha hoax! Followed by the phoney fraud that innocent me incited a riot! perhaps the Most persecuted person ever in history! Now you want to hold my own words against me? Yeah because they’ve made a mess of -MY NEIGHBORHOOD TOO!! Justice is coming psycho! Bring it on, only I will have absolute authority and there’s nothing you or your pal antifa can do about it! Just keep the burgers coming!

NOTHING is off limits to stop the left because you are pure evil!! I know this is a crazy idea but Norm, I’m going to make one last appeal to your common sense! I’m not moving, and I don’t think YOU are, so why not cut the creep act and quit causing chaos! Excuse me! You are a horrible nasty lightweight person! Don’t ever talk to the Chosen One that way! I should have known ... you’re such a child Norm. You said it yourself, your minions are plain stupid! And you’re all headed for disaster if you keep up the stupidity! Pray to your demons you’re wrong, Satanist, because if I go down I will take you all down with me!! Don’t let the Gates of Hell hit you on the butt on your way down! Have a nice trip and fall!

Put that rifle away! What the hello is wrong with you crazies? We’re protecting our way of life either join us or else!! We’re comin’ for you, libs! Yeah you and anyone else who tries to take our guns! We don’t want your guns! Just stop pointing them in our direction! Yeah!! Double Yoo Tee Eff!! What is it with you guys? Why are you so paranoid all the time? We wouldn’t be paranoid if everyone wasn’t out to get us!

I hereby declare we have thoroughly and conclusively documented the extreme Deep Block liberal plot to kidnap, rape and eat our precious babies!! And they want to abort the rest of them!! Those two have left for Planet OO! Don’t talk to them! Police!! Everyone hold it right there!! Especially you! What the hello is that thing?! This is Robodogcop Advanced Model FIDO-X1000! My new mode of transport! A real bargain from our asset seizure program starting at $75,000 For the basic model! What business do you have on this block?

Why are you even talking to me? You’re an accessory to murder AND the cause of my headache! You and your redneck pal have a lot to answer for you thug!! More leftist lies!! My Unibrowed Boy stood up to protect his rights and his way of life! That’s called self defense! This isn’t about who incited what! This is about Blockage Integrity!! Your joke scam isn’t funny anymore!! Making up a cult about Lawn Order is one thing! Yeah! But you can’t go around shooting people you don’t agree with! No I don’t take responsibility at all!! You radical leftistss forced real citizens to defend their rights when you went after our Green Lawns! We never—!You have gone too far you have to be stopped! It’s time to get the law involved you can’t get away with this!! Just watch me patsy! But if you go around eating babies then the people will demand justice! Oh, and power is more importsnt than truth!

This is no trickery sir! My vocation is to help humankind! The Wisdoma vaccine is a great boon to the planet! You’re the foreigner from across the street right? Yes sir, I’m Archie Garcia PhD, but I’m not- Patriots do not want your Commie Plot vaccine! It’s the Invasion of the Body Snatchers vaccine!! I beg to differ, the vaccine above all gives one clarity of thought! That’s a good thing for YOU Norm! I don’t want any 5G radiating from my skull or microchips that turn me into a human magnet!! We will not be Commie Mind Slaves! I’m afraid you’re the victim of misinformation! We plan to begin Voluntary inoculations next week! Come on Shatterd, don’t you want everyone to be wise and enlightened? That would be the GREATEST DANGER EVER to MY way of Grift—I mean life!

: I don’t know if those OOlalalers are for real or a bunch of clowns! I’m glad you caught their silly cult on video, no one will be able to take them seriously! Yeah, I’ll edit it down to the full crazy and post the highlights on line! Hey you old Hippie Freak! Why d’ya wear that vest? Is that where you “stash” your “roaches”? Awww did the little redneck run out of OXY? You ever heard of Dueling Banjos, Cosplay Boy? Of course!! Careful with the insults, Commies!! Meet my dueling harmonicas!! Let’s Boogie Beageloo! Oh I don’t know but I been told, OOlala video could be pure Gold! The Crazy Leftists are rioting! Dance, Cracker!

oomer & Norm live on a “two house block” Boomer is the “house on the left” Norm is the “house on the right” and “there is no center house on this block”. This is the story of two reluctant neighbors. Hey Norm! FYI I’m switching from a lawn to sustainable landscaping. What extremist nonsense are you talking about now? Bushes, rocks, wildflowers—no grass, it’s better for the environment. Not on your life Mister this here’s a “Green Lawn” block, understand? I’m going to make this block Great Again!! Yeah well mowing the grass sucks so deal with it! We’ll see about that! My lawyers will make LAWN ORDER mandatory!! Fascist!! Antifa Scum!!

4 thoughts on “A Brief Digression to Ding-A-Ling Jokes”

Tom Taylor
09/04/2021, 3:46 pm
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Thank you for doing this. If you ever make your way to Columbus OH, I’d love to buy you a beverage and chat. I think I may have peed a little after #28…
1. [email protected]
  
  09/05/2021, 11:34 pm
  
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  Thanks for the kind comment, I’m glad you’re enjoying my little story!
Humor
04/16/2022, 7:01 pm
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gralion torile
08/25/2022, 4:03 am
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